Finding divine connection in a world of self-love
In a world that constantly tells us to “love yourself first,” the idea of love often begins and ends with the self—how we feel, what we need, what we deserve.
But in one warm classroom at Rabata Cultural Center in Minnesota, around twenty women gathered to look beyond that circle. They came seeking something deeper: a love that heals, gives, and draws us closer to Allah.
The class The 5 Love Languages Through the Life of the Prophet ﷺ invited students to rediscover love through the most compassionate heart ever created—the heart of Muhammad ﷺ.
Over five sessions, they explored the languages of love not as modern psychology defines them, but as the Prophet ﷺ lived them.
Beyond the Self: Returning to the Prophetic Heart
Each session peeled back another layer of what true love looks like. In a time when self-care is often confused with self-centeredness, these women encountered a model of love that was self-aware yet selfless, grounded in worship, and adorned with grace.
The Prophet ﷺ loved because love was part of his mercy—a reflection of his connection to Allah, the Source of all affection. His gentleness was not weakness, but mastery of emotion; his compassion was not indulgence, but deep awareness of others’ hearts.
In the session on Words of Affirmation, the students heard how he ﷺ spoke with tenderness: calling his wives by beloved names, praising his companions, comforting the grieving, and uplifting those who made mistakes without ever shaming them.
In Acts of Service, smiles at the stories of the Prophet ﷺ mending his own clothes, carrying water, and helping his family whispered love without words.
During the session on Gifts, students reflected on his saying, “Exchange gifts, for it brings about love,” and how every gift he gave was thoughtful, never grandiose—a symbol of a thought, not status.
And when they discussed Quality Time and Gentle Touch, they saw how his presence was undivided and fully given at all times—when he turned toward someone, he turned fully, with eyes, heart, and attention.
A Mirror for Women
All the participants were women—mothers, professionals, and students—balancing care for others with the modern demand to prioritize the self. Many shared how deeply moved they were by the Prophet’s ﷺ appreciation of women: his affection for Sayyida Khadija (radiya Allahu ‘anha), his protection of Sayyida Fatima (radiya Allahu ‘anha), and his constant kindness to his wives and all of the female companions.
It was clear how his love dignified women, not by flattery and empty words, but by recognition of their worth before Allah. In him ﷺ, we found an anchor—a model of emotional stability and divine gentleness that transcended time. His love didn’t silence women; it saw them. It didn’t seek to control; it cherished.
For many, the lessons brought tears and peace. “It was like rediscovering what love was meant to be,” one student shared. “I started treating my family differently.”
Another said, “The Prophet ﷺ taught me that love can be firm and kind at once—and that strength lies in calmness.”
Maybe the most profound discovery came when the class realized that every form of love the Prophet ﷺ expressed was rooted in his love for Allah. His kindness was not performative or forced—it was his heart\’s worship. His patience, his gentleness, his silence—all were reflections of attachment rooted in God.
As the class discussed this, we found our own faith deepening. Love became a bridge between hearts and Heaven.
By the final session, the classroom was filled with tears, laughter, and a quiet peace. The women left carrying something precious, a love that was no longer centered on the self, but oriented toward the Divine.
“Through this class,” one participant said softly, “I learned that my way back to loving Allah is through loving like the Prophet ﷺ.”
Started as a series of lessons on emotional awareness, the sessions became a spiritual journey. The Prophet’s emotional intelligence was not modern or as described in modern times; it was timeless, complete, and rooted in faith—before any of the definitions and frameworks we use today.
This course became more than a class; it became a mirror—showing that even in a world obsessed with “me,” the path to real peace begins with him ﷺ and ends with Allah.
Anse Leila Anwar Pačariz, Instructor at Ribaat Academic Institute